Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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