This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
