Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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