Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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