nutella sex= disaster
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
