he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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