I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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