honey bunches of taint.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
