Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
