There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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