All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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