In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
