You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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