i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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