We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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