Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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