you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
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frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
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Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.