Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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