if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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