so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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