I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
