Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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