you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
