This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
