Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have post one night stand depression
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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