can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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