Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
