sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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