U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
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He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize