do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
