My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
