i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
