just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
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I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
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I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I love you.
Bad choice
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