if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
