I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
