She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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