No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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