we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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