Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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