Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
