so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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