what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
