I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
