apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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