It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
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i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
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I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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