Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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