he thought i was a dude.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
