So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
