some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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