Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
