I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
