yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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