In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
