In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
