I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
