update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
this will be a night to untag.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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