Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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