In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
