I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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