This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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