i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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